Satan revealed in a statement today that organisers of the failed festival ‘Hope and Glory’ have caused that much chaos and misery among ticket holders that it’s set in motion the end of days. Speaking from the seventh layer of hell, Satan said: “The chaos and level of customer complaints has created an energy so […]Read More Hope and Glory festival organisers to host apocalypse
Sir Vince Cable is back after being the only candidate mental enough to want to lead the Liberal Democrats. No other MP stood in the contest to lead the party after Tim Farron vacated the role because God told him to. Sir Vince addressed his supporters, known as the “Cable-heads” outside his Richmond and […]Read More Vince Cable: Back once again with the ill behaviour
The General Dental Council has discovered in the time it takes patients to get a dental appointment, they can verse themselves in the Dark Arts and successfully summon unholy creatures from another dimension. Barbara Keenan, a Librarian from Wolverhampton, describes how after paying nearly £200 for a root canal, her tooth fell out anyway after […]Read More Easier to summon nine foot demon from the fourth dimension than it is to get an appointment with a dentist, reveals the General Dental Council
Tim Farron reveals he’s stepping down as leader of the Liberal Democrats because of an abrupt intervention from God. Four hours after the final election results came in, Farron told us God came to him in the drawer of a filing cabinet at his constituency office in Kendal. Farron Said “I’d just come back tired […]Read More God hates Liberal Democrats in Revelation Shocker!